Advice Hound

Archive for the ‘Health and Fitness’ Category

Dear AH:

Recently I was contacted on a social website by an ex-roommate. When we lived together several years ago, she was a nightmare. She was very sneaky and nosey. For instance, I would have a private telephone conversation in my room. Later in the week, she would ask me questions which she could only have thought to ask based on the private call. Clearly, she was eavesdropping. It was always something like that. Anyway, I was glad to move out and never had the desire to ever speak to her again. I know this sounds crazy, but I feel like I’m being rude just ignoring her, yet I really don’t want to have any contact with her either. Should I just go ahead and ‘friend her’ or should I ignore her request?

Dear AH:

My husband and I occasionally go to dinner with another couple who I will call ‘Sarah’ and ‘Bill’. They are very nice people separately, but when they are together it is just a series of name calling and insults. My husband and Bill are very close friends and Sarah and I often go shopping or to lunch. We both enjoy the time we spend with them, but I just can’t stand another meal sitting quietly listening to their fighting. It has gotten to the point that we have been asked on more than one occasion to leave a restaurant by the management due to the loud fighting. My husband just laughs it off, but I’m over it.

Recently, Sarah asked if we would like to join them for a few weeks at their vacation house. My husband is all for it so that we can get away, but I just don’t want to deal with these people for several weeks. How do I get out of this without hurting everybody’s feelings and making my husband mad.

We at AH know a couple just like that-super nice, but just not meant for each other. You need to be honest with your husband and let him know that you can’t take this couple together anymore and will not spend a few (probably miserable) weeks with them. As for Sarah and Bill, tell them straight out that you will not be able to make it. Since your husband and Bill are very close, your husband may want to have a talk with Bill about the public verbal boxing matches and let him know that you all won’t be joining them couple activities anytime soon. Maybe the conversation will make Bill realize that there is a problem in the marriage that needs to be addressed. Regardless, it’s most important that you and your husband communicate and talk about the kind of friends and activities you want to associate with. Don’t let this couple’s problems spill over into your own marriage.

First of all, we just want to commend you for being such a caring family member. It’s people like you that make the world a better place. We here at AH are dealing with a chronic illness, so we understand where your uncle is coming from. It can be hard to separate yourself from the diagnosis and want to have a pity party, but it serves no purpose. We recommend that you sit down and have a frank discussion with your uncle about his attitude and ask what you can do to help him get out of his funk. Remind him that he has friends and family who love and care about him and want to help, but that he has to want the help and take some personal responsibility for his health. It might not hurt to offer to help him get some counseling or join a support group to help him better deal his health problems and his emotional state. We wish you and your uncle the best!

JUST A THOUGHT

The old adage is true ‘Health is Wealth’ and there is nothing more important than trying to maintain your health. Unfortunately, sometimes health issues arise which are out of our control, but you still need to do whatever is in your power to manage and control those aspects which are controllable. Specifically, eat a diet recommended by your physician, get regular physical exercise (to the extent your illness allows), take your medications as directed and try to develop a positive attitude. These things, in conjunction with developing healthy personal relationships and seeking mental support, will help ensure a quality life regardless of your diagnosis.

Dear AH:

Can you recommend any cheap gifts I could give my girlfriend. It’s her birthday and I’m short on cash. Thanks.

Budgeting Boyfriend

Dear Budgeting:

Inexpensive gifts aren’t necessarily cheap gifts. A cheap gift is something that you buy merely because the price is right. An inexpensive gift is a gift you choose that suits the occasion and the gift recipient, but just happens to not cost a lot of money. Without knowing your girlfriend, we could recommend anything that shows time and effort, not necessarily lots of money. Examples: A nice dinner cooked by you at home along with rented DVDs of her favorite movies; If you are a musician, write a song about how much you care about her; or Give her the spa treatment at home- run her a scented bath, paint her toe nails for her and then give her a full body massage (this is a favorite gift here at Advice Hound). Remember, you don’t have to spend a lot of money to give a great gift, just be thoughtful and considerate.

Dear AH:

I have been working in a office for about a year now, my first job, and I am starting to see the spread, as in my butt. I have never really had a weight problem, but it’s like I’ve ballooned overnight. I really don’t eat any more than I usually do, but my clothes are getting tighter. It getting so I don’t want to go shopping because I know I’ll have to buy a bigger size, but I’m going to have to do something soon. Any advice?

Gaining Experience and Weight

Dear Gaining:

Congratulations, we have just become part of the sedentary career club which includes unlimited weight gain if you don’t watch yourself. It’s a sneaky weight gain because you think if you don’t change your eating patterns, then your weight will stay the same. Unfortunately, the hours of sitting and inactivity take a toll. The good news is that you’ve noticed the problem before it has gotten out of hand. That being the case, the prescription for this problem is exercise. Yes, we know you didn’t want to hear that, but it needs to be said. Getting into some routine now will help stave off future pounds and help you get yourself back in shape. One of the best recommendations we’ve heard is wearing a pedometer to track your steps through the day (at least 10,000 steps per day is recommended). This will help you gauge exactly how sedentary you’ve become and help develop a fitness program to suit you lifestyle and health needs. Just a side note, you may want to make an appointment with your doctor before beginning any exercise program or to check that there is not a medical reason for the recent weight gain.

Dear AH:

My roommate is one of my dearest friends. Recently her cat (I’ll call her Mittens) died and you would think that the world has ended. My friend refuses to go out, she won’t eat and sits and cries all the time. I understand she was very close Mittens, but it’s getting old. At first I was supportive, but now I just want to tell her to get over it. Am I being mean or do I have a point here? Thanks for your input.

Over It

Dear Over:

Do you have a point? Yes. Is your friend being a drama queen? Maybe not. We understand what it is like to see someone acting overly distraught at the death of a pet. It can be annoying and just seem like a cry for attention. Maybe it is a cry for attention and you should be a little more sensitive to what is going on here. Has your friend recently had a run of bad luck or has she been under a great deal of stress? The death of a pet may exacerbate an underlying issue and cause your friend seemingly overreact. Additionally, Mittens may have been her source of coping with other problems and her death felt like the loss of a trusted friend or family member. Regardless, just be patient with her and offer your support. If she feels like talking about it, lend a sympathetic ear and just listen. Sometimes that’s all anyone really needs to move on after a personal, tragic event.  RIP, Mittens.

Do you have a question or need some advice? Please feel free to contact Advice Hound at question@advicehound.com.